HARDEST GOODBYE

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Door opens

Dad: Ohh shini, you're back. How was the last day of school? I'm sure you must have had so much fun enjoying the last day.  Wanna share what's happened today? 

Shini: Yeah, I had fun but umm.. dad... I'm knackered, I'll catch you up for dinner. I need some solid hours of sleep. It was a tiring day after all. 

Locks the door

Hey diary, I'm back again with one of my stories, and this time it's a bittersweet one.

School life has come to an end. It is surreal to feel this ending and to even think about it is dreamlike. Honestly, it hasn't hit me hard yet as this one is beyond belief to me. I'm not ready yet for what's coming next. I don't feel it in me. 

Moreover turning eighteen this year has been equally overwhelming. There's something inside of me that screams responsibility and other formidable words that I procrastinate practicing. Well, losing my carefree look is not on the list as It seems both complicated and exciting at the same time. Just stuff that is supposed to come with age.

My heart holds in tight so much grief rewinding the beautiful memories I've created and there's also this silent fear inside of me about losing contact with loved ones. This grief has come along with an unfulfilled joy. I've heard people say school friends don't come along for long. I wish that to be the biggest lie I've ever heard. If only it was possible to get back there again would I be able to fulfill it, so it is really the end? A 14 year journey after all.

It feels like yesterday when I was sitting in my pin o form in my KG classroom, crying at my mom waving me bye from the corner of an aisle, and now it's already over. This is one of the hardest goodbyes life forces me to bid. 


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